Frequently Asked Questions
What impact does identifying in the LGBTQ community have on the gender differences?
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There is a spectrum of gender behavior, and some identify on more of the male end of the spectrum and some on the female end. LGBTQ individuals are no different in this regard. This is one of the many variables that contribute to our unique position on the gender spectrum.
What about adults that didn’t have the traditional types of childhoods that are described in the book?
The way we were socialized as children can impact our behavior as adults. Even if we did not play traditional children’s games, our experiences helped shape our position on the gender spectrum.
It seems that women talk more about gender communication differences than men. What drives this?
While gender differences impact both men and women’s lives equally, research shows that women tend to bring up more of the difficult issues in relationships, which makes them more likely to seek solutions to the gender differences they are experiencing.
My boss told me that I need to be more confident. What, specifically, do I need to do?
It is important to understand what behavior your leader is identifying that makes you appear less confident. You will need to ask them to describe what it looks like when you appear less confident and what specific confident behavior they would expect to see in that situation. There are many aspects to confidence: physical, voice volume, non-verbal cues, active vs. passive language, etc. I highly recommend reading the book by Katty Kay and Clair Shipman.
Do I need a mentor or a sponsor at work? How do I get one? Does gender matter?
You need both mentors and sponsors, and sometimes one person can serve both roles. A mentor is someone who helps coach you on specific actions or career tactics. A sponsor is someone that will put their reputation on the line to recommend you for a promotion. It’s unlikely that someone will sponsor you if they don’t already know you well. If you have a strong mentor, you can have an honest discussion with them about what it would take to move them from a mentor to a sponsor. The gender of your mentors does not matter. Many people find it helpful to have both male and female mentors.
What is the best way to make sure the leadership team at my company is informed on the gender differences?
Talk with a diversity leader or HR person to see if there are training or presentations planned to educate leaders on gender diversity. Also, if you have affinity groups at your company, they can be leveraged to provide educational sessions. It’s also a good topic to bring up with a mentor because they may have an awareness of other resources that can be leveraged.